Hockey Can Be A Death Wish(Part1)
by Vaikii
Summary: Reno suggests a hockeygame during 100-degree weather..ooh lookit the outcome..(psst my 1st upload!)


Hockey Can Be A Death Wish  
By: Vaikii! Vaikii@yahoo.com  
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Author's Note:  
This is a humor story. Plain and simple. I hope you guys'll enjoy it as much as I have!  
It has FinalFantasy7 characters in it along with some of my self-created characters. You may rotfl@my story, or you may hate it's guts, if it had guts. Either way please e-mail me your comments, questions, and other stuff to Vaikii@yahoo.com. I -will- accept your questions as long as they aren't out of line ;, comments, even hate-mail. I must draw the line at drive by shootings however. Oh yeah! I guess I gotta rate this and I'll use... PG? Cussin' is symboled out *hehehes* and there is lotsa ammusing   
violence. Now all the fun legal stuff:  
  
Final Fantasy VII and all FF7 characters © 1997, SquareSoft. I do not wish to violate this with my ramblings.  
This 'fic, my self made characters, the idea for this, and all the text © 2000, Xim.  
If I happen to add any of my friends characters before this ends, they are copyright to their players.  
All rights reserved.  
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Saikii is hiding under the coffee table while Cloud and Sephiroth argue over who should go get the mail. Rufus is laying lazy-like on the couch, holding a pillow over his head. And Cid is, well, sitting at the table with a cigarette and a magazine.(probably "Pilots 3000"..)  
  
Reno enters the room.  
  
Cid: *comfirms Reno's appearance with his famous quote* @#$(&%!!!!  
  
Reno: GASP!!! Its.. its 95degrees outside?!?!  
  
Sephiroth and Cloud: *look up at Reno* thats why -I- dont want to get the mail. *glare at each other* I will not! You do it!  
  
Saikii: *rolls her eyes*  
  
Reno: -_-' ........... HEY!!!! I have a GREAT idea, guys!!!!  
  
Rufus: *falls off the couch* AACK!? What you got is me going to kill you for that I was having a /wonderful/ dream.... *zones out and forgets about Reno*  
  
Everyone but Rufus: um..... *sweatdrops*  
  
Saikii: uh...yes.... *turns to Reno* What was your idea?  
  
Reno: We should go play ICE HOCKEY!  
  
Everyone, even Rufus turns to stare at Reno.  
  
Reno: ...... *decides he better leave and dashes out the door* m'eep!  
  
Saikii: *blinks* THATS A -GREAT- IDEA, RENO!!!! Cloud~chan go get Reno and meet us at the ice rink!  
  
Sephiroth: *leans on the handle of masamune* Who died and made YOU boss?  
  
Saikii: hmmmmm.. *appears to think 'bout this* How about............Vaikii? Wait she ain't dead.. n/m. welllll she gave me powers o're her ramblings since she cant be here.  
  
Sephiroth: *sweatdrops* Good enough for me.  
  
Cloud: ?????????????????  
  
Saikii: *slaps her forehead* Baka. *turns directly to Cloud and gives him "the look"* Go get the rest of our lil' party!  
  
Cloud: Oki! *skips out of the room*  
  
Saikii: Ooh oh oh oh WAIT! Cloud STO~OP! I just wanted you to go after Reno! *looks around* CID! GO GET HIM!!!!!!!  
  
Cid: !@##%$%&@#!! *runs out after Cloud*  
  
Everyone stays freezed in their spots.  
  
Saikii: ??? Let's go already! *cracks up at the visible stupidity*  
  
Rufus: Can we bring um.. guests?  
  
Saikii: *shakes her head* Sorry not this time pal. I want to have more time to get to know you all better. *grins evilly* K, now  
I need a volanteer to go get the rest of the FF7 characters..  
  
Rufus: *gives Sephy a push forward while at the same time taking a step back* Sephy wants to help you Sai-y!!  
  
Sephiroth: Ack! *turns around facing Rufus* I refuse to go, YOU go you little pest!  
  
Rufus: Who you callin' LITTLE? *cocks his shotgun*  
  
Sephiroth: *sneers* You. *raises his masamune, but accidently makes a rather large hole in the ceiling* ...oops..  
  
Saikii: *blinks....* -_- *looks up at the hole in the ceiling*  
  
Rufus: AH HA! AH HAHAHAHA!!!!! *is now rolling on the floor laughing*  
  
Sephiroth: *sweatdrops*  
  
Saikii: THAT DOES IT! Both of you, OUT! Go get the others who want to come. *she smiles sweetly*  
  
Rufus and Sephiroth: Why?  
  
Saikii: NOW..  
  
Sephiroth disappears in a cloud of smoke leaving a confused Rufus to jump out a nearby window.  
  
Saikii: *blinks again* Um.... there IS a door over there.......  
  
Saikii exits the lobby using the DOOR.  
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NOT TOO MUCH LATER...  
  
Saikii is holding onto Rufus by his ear while he whines like a injured puppy. She is at the  
desk of the 'Ice Rink Place', trying to get them to rent out their ice rink, and also trying to take  
back what Rufus told them earlier about what he'd do to them if they refused. ^_^'  
  
Saikii: sooo........... you see... we really, /really/ *hinthint* would like it if you'd let us use  
the 'rink for a few games of hockey... isn't that right, RufRuf? *she says his name with her  
teeth gritted and obviously is ready to injure him*  
  
Rufus: *whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine* Yes yes please let us so she'll let me go! *glances at the person behind the desk*  
  
Saikii: *snicker fits*  
  
DeskPerson: I dont know.........  
  
Saikii: PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAZE?!?! *eyes fill up with tears* ;_;  
  
DeskPerson: That aint gonna work, ma'am.  
  
Saikii: DANGIT. *pouts*  
  
Rufus: *inches away from Sai and toward the exit*  
  
Sephiroth suddenly appears from the shadow overhanging the doorway, grumbling to himself, groaning, and tugging at something still concealed in the shadow. O_o'  
  
Cid: !#@$(&%@*&!! .......HA HA HA HA...   
  
Saikii: *blinks* Sephy, why are you dragging Cid?  
  
Sephiroth: *shakes his head and heads for the desk and Saikii, masamune in one hand, Cid's scarf in the other* .........grumblegrumblecloudgrumblebakagrumble....  
  
A high pitched yelp echoes down the hall from the Doorway.  
  
Cid and Sephiroth: *start snickering like mad*  
  
Cloud: *appears from the door-archway shadow, Cid dragging him by his hair* ......... *whimpers*  
  
Cid: *is holding his cigarette in one hand, and Cloud's biggest hair spike in the other* heh heh heh! He got shut in the door!  
  
Sephiroth: *cracks up*  
  
Saikii: .......................  
  
Rufus: *appears to be laughing hysterically until Saikii punches him in the gut* auugh..  
  
Saikii: Shut up Rufus! Cid LET CLOUD GO!  
  
Cid: !@#($*@#%(&$#@@ *mutters* You said to go get him!?  
  
Saikii: *sweatdrops and bounds over to Cloud* Well not like /that/. Cid, drop him.  
  
Cid: *blinks* .....ooooooki.. *lets go of Cloud*  
  
Cloud: eep! *runs to Saikii, almost in tears* They're MEAN! Sephiroth said he was going to feed me to his pet demon after hockey.. *sniffs* ;_;  
  
Saikii: Awwww Cloud... *pats him on the back and gives him a quick hug* Your favorite Web-Mistress will take care of everything..  
  
Sephiroth: Uh oh...... *raises masamune and begins backing away*  
  
Saikii: Oh Se~ephieeeeee........ *approuches him while eyeing the sword*  
  
Sephiroth: *hesitantly* Y-yes...?  
  
Saikii: NO YOU ARE _NOT_ GOING TO FEED CLOUD TO THAT EXCUSE FOR A PET AFTER OUR HOCKEY GAME!!!!!!!! *puts on her sweet look* Now go tell that nice person over there to rent the ice rink to us..  
  
DeskPerson: *sweatdrops*  
  
Sephiroth: *blinks* Yes ma'am! *trudges over to the desk, still dragging Cid by his scarf*  
  
Cid: !!!!! (*%$#%&(!@#!????  
  
DeskPerson: um.... what can I do for you, sir?  
  
Sephiroth: *slams his hand, which happens to be holding masamune, on the counter, causing the Clerk to take a BIG step back*  
Is there a problem with renting this pool of ice out to Saikii?! *waves the masamune demanding to know the answer, and accidently(?was it a accident?) hits a bowling ball from its spot. It falls off and lands squarely on Cid's head*  
  
Cid: ug... *blacks out*  
  
Jessicat and Kat walk in, dragging Reno by his arms.  
  
Rufus: *sees Reno with two girls and slumps against a wall* ITS NOT FAIR!?!?!?!?!?  
  
Jessi: Ooh Hiya!!  
  
Kat: 'ey Saikii!  
  
Saikii: Hi guys! *waves back at them* Come to join our hockey game?  
  
Jessi and Kat: Oh /yeah/. *spy Cid sprawled on the floor and instantly forget about Reno*  
  
Cloud: *is looking at hockey stuff, all set up neatly, on a wall*  
  
Sephiroth is still arguing with the now ready-to-call-security Desk Clerk.  
  
Reno: a-HEM. I'm still here.......  
  
Kat: Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeno~o!! *hugs him*  
  
Reno: *smirks pleasently* Thats more like it *sticks his tongue out at Rufus, who appears to be fuming*  
  
Jessicat and Saikii(she just noticed Cid): What the HECK happened?!?!! Sephiroth DID YOU KILL HIM?!!? You DID didnt you?!?!  
  
Sephiroth: *turns to the two girls* Huh? *glances down at Cid* Oh, him. No, he just got hit with this *picks up the bowling ball and tosses it aside absent mindedly before turning full attention back to the clerk who is trying to slink away*  
  
Kat: uh oh....... *closes her eyes and ducks*  
  
Reno: Wha--AAAAAUGH! *gets hit in the gut by the bowling ball Seph threw* OoOooof *doubles over in pain and passes out*  
  
Kat: Oh my GAWD! Reno?! Seph you KILLED RENO!!!  
  
Sephiroth: *is not listening, but threatening the clerk. AGAIN. ((*snickersnicker*))*  
  
Saikii, Jess and Kat: *drag Cid and Reno to the other side of the room, /away/ from Sephiroth. just incase ;)*  
  
Rufus: *follows them, not wanting to become the next victim* Wait a second... this is a ICE RINK, isn't it?  
  
Saikii: Yeah.......why?  
  
Rufus: Ah. So why is there a BOWLING BALL in a ICE RINK??  
  
Everyone but the Desk Clerk and Sephiroth: uhh..... o_O  
  
Rufus: *smirks*  
  
((STOP STOP! I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE!!! I can't believe I typed a BOWLING BALL IN A ICERINK!!!! AH HAHAHA! Why'd I leave it then? Cuz its funny thats why! I just figured this out and I swear I am going to die laughing. Seriously, go get a replacement for me.. I thought, for SOME reason, even thou I KNEW it was a Ice Rink, that this was a Bowling Place. MWA!))  
  
Nanaki and Vincent enter.  
  
Nanaki: *slinks over to Saikii, who pats him on the head. He eyes Reno and Cid* What happened? Sephy go on a killing spree again?  
  
Saikii: Um, yeah.... something like that..... *scratches her head*  
  
Vincent: *walks over by Rufus and leans against the wall* When do we start the game?  
  
Jessi: EGADS! Did he just talk? Like, WOW, call the presses! Bring out MTV, VAMPIRE-BOY IS TALKING! *grins*  
  
Vincent: .............  
  
Saikii and Nanaki: *hrmm*  
  
Kat: *sits cross-legged and hugs the limp form of everybody's favorite red-headed Turk, Reno* ..Aw poor baby........   
  
Everyone: *start trying not to snicker, smirk and giggle*  
  
Kat: *sudden horror!* Did I just say that outloud?!  
  
Vincent, Nanaki, Saikii, Rufus, and even Cloud: *grin widely and nod*  
  
Jessicat: *scowls at Kat and -reluctantly- walks over to Cid, since Reno's taken((*coughweirdcough*))*  
  
Sephiroth: !!!!!!!!!!??????????  
  
Desk Clerk: *ulp* .... I g-give up! t-take t-the WHOLE r-rink! it-it's YOURS! EEEEEEERK *flees out the front doors throwing a ring of keys at Sephiroth*  
  
Sephiroth: Hmmm *catches the keys, curious*  
  
Saikii: YOINK! *grabs the keys from Sephy* I am not going to leave these with you. They might end up being /accidently/ teleported to some weird frozen mountian peak, never to be seen again. *grins*  
  
Sephiroth: ........... *looks slightly.....sad?*  
  
Reno: Ugh.......  
  
Kat, Jess, Saikii: RE~ENO Your /alive/!  
  
Reno: *smirks*  
  
Rufus: Well thats a total bummer!  
  
Everyone, minus Cloud, Sephy, and Vince: SHADDUP RUFY!  
  
Rufus: *sweatdrops*  
  
Cloud: Are we going to go play hockey no~ow? *almost sounds like he's whining*  
  
Jessicat, Kat and Reno: Oops *smack their forehead* I forgot!  
  
Nanaki: We own the rink now so we can come anytime we want, too, correct?  
  
Rufus: How'd you know that?  
  
Nanaki: You'd be surprised what I know..  
  
Rufus: *scoffs* Oh YEAH? Prove it. Tell me something I don't know, FireforBrains.  
  
Nanaki: Oookay....... *closes his eyes and thinks* .............. *peers at Ruf with one eye* Sephiroth is looking for a hockey stick to beat you with, once on the rink, of course.  
  
Sephiroth: OoOooo..... *is practically drooling over a evil, "killer" looking hockey stick*  
  
Rufus: eh-heh........ Na'ki? That ain't something I didn't know.. that would be something I didn't WANT'ta know.  
  
Cid: @#(&&%)*$#&%)!(#*!@#(_($?????  
  
Everyone: YIKES!!! Don't do that Cid!  
  
Cid: ..........  
  
Vincent: Hey, thats MY line!  
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LATER ON..  
  
Everyone is 'equiped' to play hockey, and ready to go out to the rink. Yay! ^_^  
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To Be Continued.... in PART2!!!!  
  
Hope you guys enjoyed this as much as I did *cackles*  
Thanks to Saikii! She helped me err--she checked the story to make sure it was funny *g*  
And thanks to Firesong, Kat and Jessi who let me put their characters in the story! *hugs*  
Tailwags,  
~Vai-y   
pssst...check out part 2 *poke* annnd Firesong comes in in p2! LOL *LsG* 


End file.
